Learning to deal with dementia

From my perspective we need to open our heart and our mind when we have to face this disease. Dementia is a very challenging disease that affects our brain and so many other body functions linked to it. But, most important, it affects our memory and our consciousness: the person feels confused, disoriented, not only whilst doing daily activities (such as walking, shopping, etc.), but also living her relationships. This last aspect can be very challenging and can bring a lot of misuderstandings, expecially within the family environment.

As Norman underlines, we need to use Common Sense. In fact Common Sense tells us to observe and listen to the person while she is speaking to us, and to be kind and helpful in a reciprocal way. “Dementia” is the name of an illness, a person who suffers from dementia is still a person and not her disease. So let them to talk to us about their experience, I think we have a lot to learn yet and they can be good teachers.

Another important aspect, in my opinion, is that we memorize our experiences within all our body and not just in our mind. This way of memorizing experiences goes on for all of our lives, and also when our cognitive abilities don’t work properly anymore. In fact people living with dementia are still learning and memorizing, but not in the “ususal” way. Also, they can re-live their memories through their senses, without necessarily using their regular visual and verbal ways. 

Basically, the person’s feelings are still working. We need to learn a new way of communication through their senses and feelings, and particularly when words start losing their meaning. Always keeping in mind that that person is still there, with their story and embodied memories, we can communicate through our body, our facial expression, our hands, etc. (for example, with a gentle touch, holding their hands, laughing with them). The secret is to stay in the present moment with the person, following the flow of our experience, even if it looks bizzare.